Stumble and Fall

I'm white, middle class and angry at everything! Give me a job, damn you! All those rednecks say I inherently deserve one, so throw me a damn bone, you capitalist motherfuckers! INCREASE MY FUCKING UTILITY!!!

Also:

Attending Nat's birthday (well, the initial part of it) was most fun. Mostly because of this:

I stepped out for a smoke with some dude, not too far out from the main entrance of the pub. A kid, pissed as a loon stumbled up to me and flashed me his ID. I took a brief look at it, told him it was "sweet" and pointed him inward. The dumbarse thought I was the bouncer. Me and my mate pissed ourselves, along with pretty much everyone who saw us. Another bloke took it up a notch by asking if it was alright to smoke there. I said I'd have to check with management. Hilarious!

Quoted For Truth: Facebook

"Media have a way to cover up as well as disclose. For example, boredom masquerades as participation with do-it-yourself Websites like Facebook, MySpace, and YouTube. With these sites, users have unlimited ways to "keep in touch" or to use a media-related metaphor, "stay connected." The summons "Find Your Friends on MySpace" lures users into preparing "a face to meet the faces that you meet."

by G. Mielo, "Misunderstanding media: a blurry "Vision of Students Today" in ETC; A Review of General Semantics, (Apr. 1, 2008) published by the Institute for General Semantics.

Also, Read my review of a mint as prog metal album!

Desecrate and Eliminate

Looking at my account settings on Facebook, I contemplated deactivating my account. Well, you know, because Facebook is generally depressing for me.

And after some epic LJ dramaz that I've been privileged enough to troll, I chuckled at the sight of this:


I just love how it's listed first, as if it were the most common reason for deactivation. And since when was Facebook ever supposed to be useful? If there are three things that are cheap and abundant on the internet, its opinions that no one asked for, horny men with weird fetishes and useless fucking websites. Its just the law. I can be so bitter and evil sometimes. But then again, I don't give a fuck. Its an essential trait to carry as a corporate media whore, or in my case, an aspirant corporate media whore. (I'll sell out for $7 and a Coke Zero! And sell you out for less!) You have to be when you're attempting to launch your full scale invasion onto everyone's monitors for those three brief seconds while they attempt to find a picture with their own face in it. It's called "exposure."

I swear, if you aren't prepared to disclose yourself as openly as you would in "real life" and roll with the resultant backlash, then don't do it on the internet. The internet is three times as worthless and five times as pointless as "IRL" dramaz. (I would know, I've survived about three or four of them myself. For the most trivial of fucking reasons. Some dear readers may remember them.) But when you're not directly involved, boy howdy, they can be damn fun! Next time you're being trolled/tried via blog, call up the person and ask them what their beef is. They'll usually back down and apologize. That is also very fun.

A Tripartite Travelogue

1. Never watch Casshern. It is the most convoluted, plotless and obfuscatory movie I've ever half watched. I had to get up and walk away because it made so little sense. Thanks to Rae and Kris for this weekends' short escape from reality. Souvlaki Pizza is so win.

2. Snuff Box is just like a fine wine - it just gets better with age. I can't be in love if its plastic. To live on my own just seems tragic. I'll raise myself high when my day comes. You thought it was gold but it was bronze...just like Australia at the Olympics. Someone, please test Phelps.

3. This one is thanks to Ace. The dude in the video also shares the same name with my mate Shai, unless he was bullshitting. Enjoy!

No Longer Ronin

"I'm in ur countreez, promoting r albumz"

Crushtor's Grand Trivium Interview
So. I arrive at the very swanky Vibe Hotel on the corner of Little Collins and Spencer to be confronted by a sandy-blonde Scottish man with square glasses and a gossamer smooth smile. "I'm here to interview Corey, from Trivium," I reply. "Do you know who I'm meant to talk to? "Me," he courteously replies. "I'm Bob from Roadrunner. The band is running late because of the bloody plane. Here, take a seat and we'll get everything ready." Then I get escorted to Corey's room to have a chat about their new album and his thoughts on the Trivium Interpretation Videos on YouTube. (Read the interview in September!) Then once I finish, Janine from Roadrunner invited me to the Roadrunner Preview party in Brunswick that night. An offer I just could not refuse. Rock.

Hob-nobbing it with industry types and accidentally hurting Matt Heafy's feelings (because I had seen more of Japan than him, as it turns out) was a pleasure that could only be experienced. It also turned out that I knew a few of the people there, having only having meeting them for the face to face for the first time. Drinking music label provided sake and Japanese beer amid rock stars (I even got to be in the group photo) is just too surreal and too awesome for words. I could get very, very used to this.

Spit Fire, Neverending

A Summary of every conversation Crushtor has ever had regarding his heritage with a person of Greek descent

Inspired by a girl I met at DV8, where Beef Jerky Fox played a ripper set

[Tom hands girl his business card. You know, the lulz one. She takes it, eyes it over, chuckles.]
G: So your name is Valcanis? Are you Greek?
T: No, my family comes from Macedonia.
G: So, Greek then.
T: No, they're two different nationalities.
G: Whatever.

Just because some of "my people" choose to talk in over-exaggerated accents, drive V8s and barrack for Collingwood F.C, does not mean we are one and the same. Do you have that much of a persecution complex you have to "conquer" other countries in your mind now? Bitch, please.

A Momentous Occasion

It's the Olympics opening ceremony! Probably. I'm still laughing at the fact that Western journalists thought that China would relax their totalitarian regime just for them. Whoever said Western culture had a cult of individuality...

This post is pretty barren content-wise, since the only compulsion to make it was to have one on the 8.8.08. And why not!

Another interesting point:

"Eric Berne, the great euhemerus of Transactional Analysis and originator
of social game theory, observed that most people would not be able to tolerate continuous intimacy."

This is my excuse for a parsimony of affection, forever. Rock on, droogies!

Ride on so Wankerous

I'm sick of haters hanging shit on Dragonforce. Its petty, its unfair and its pretentious. "Oh," they exclaim, "Dragonforce is just so wanky and stupid." Here's a list of my reasons for listening to Dragonforce:

1. They're stupid
2. They're wanky

"But Tom," they retort in shrill nasal tones, "they just talk shit about dragons and fire and shit." Did this arsehole go out and see "Don't Mess with the Zohan" for its exploration of the human condition and its heart-wrenching pathos? No, you saw it because you wanted a cheap laugh. If you want to air guitar, headbang and squeeze your nutsack (or femcrotch) with one hand while holding a beer aloft like He-Man's powerlance in the other, you listen to Dragonforce. Heaping shit on them because you're a wanker that would've rather seen Dragonforce laughing off the idea of forming themselves in the first place is your problem. Not Dragonforce's.

Indie kids who serve up a slice of a slice of suburban life, reconstituted with a side of angst can go fuck themselves. I'd just as rather tape record myself doing fuck all and play it back at trendy cafes and Brunswick St. bars. Dragonforce, if anything, should be commended for making music that casts no illusions on what they're attempting to create. In that case, Hail Dragonforce!

General Semantics: Guns Don't Kill People and other irrational fallacies

The moral argument against gun ownership is beaten over the skulls of a population with almost unrelenting force; that a gun's primary function "is" to "kill people", when in reality a gun's function is to enable a person to propel a bullet at terrifying speed using its mechanisms. The bullet in the chamber arguably does the "killing" where as the gun itself merely provides the environment and force to give the bullet its highest effectiveness, therefore increasing the probability of the bullet to harm, injure or kill. Even this is debatable, since it is impossible to prove any gun (and the bullet within) is aimed at a human target 100% of the time.

The argument bears similarity to the statement that a Hi-Fi Stereo's function is "to play music" when it does no such thing. A stereo merely provides a mechanism through which recorded media may be played back to a listener. To press further; during sex, a man cannot "give" his partner an orgasm, yet can only stimulate her (or him, as the case may be) until she (or he) reaches that desired state. Semantically, "give" implies the transfer of material or energy; last I checked, the passing of ejaculate, mucous or saliva through a membrane has never caused instantaneous orgasm alone. But I digress.

By leaving out details such as these, we tend to overgeneralize and think irrationally. The object and its adjacency to certain actions does not cause it to have the identity we ascribe it. Oversimplification and judgment, which our society craves in a modern world that dares not probe and ponder, tends to lash out at the shadows and bogeymen crafted in their own imaginations. Since we do not resolutely "live" in an imaginary world, why should we be content to speak its juvenile language?

Hope I Die Before I Get Old

Seriously. Today, I sat round thinking about how much of a fucking bastard i'd become if I grew old. I'm already angry as hell about pretty much everything. Rae and Nat can pretty much testify to that. I sit around bagging out some new trend or fad that has no obvious worth, a product that does nothing or criticizing almost everything that walks past. If I'm already this angry, and if my anger only intensifies exponentially as I grow old, I'll probably end up as one the meanest motherfucking geriatrics that ever walked the Earth. By that time I'll be in my hoverchair™ that speaks three variants of Ching-lese, Engrish and Hindi (stay tuned for that one, folks.) so how bad could it theoretically be? Probably really shit, knowing my view of the world.

Insurrection and Prejudice

For the most part, IRC is a hangout for those who play this ultra-nerdy game called Cyber Nations which I started playing as a hobby to distract myself from work but got pretty much addicted to ever since I became the leader of an alliance (Its so cool! I can boss people around!) Politics + bullshitting + procrastination = win!

But I did like this quote that was thrown up the other day:

"Relationships suck. The only fun part is before and after. Making the initial connection and the revenge."

Quote for truth, am I rite?

ALSO: Stolen Babies = Oingo Boingo + Dresden Dolls + Metal. Epic win, much?

I also get/have to interview Trivium next week...at their hotel. Interesting? I sure hope so.

Addendum: I BOUGHT A YELLOW LEGAL PAD AND ITS THE MINTEST THING EVER*

*Yes, that trivial purchase announcement was most deserving of italics.