In Heavy Consternation

There's no internship to work as a freelance journalist. You don't go to a "somewhere", train yourself and go do it. (Perhaps there is; I'd sure like to know about it.) Sure, you can do a university degree in journalism but that doesn't 'qualify' you, so to speak. Like any profession, you learn on the job. The job for me as a freelance copywriter/journo/PR dude is the job (or jobs) you push yourself to get. I've been writing since I was in high school. It didn't dawn on me that writing as a job was a viable option until about the fourth year of my three year university degree. I never thought doing something I enjoyed could actually earn some money. Well, it doesn't. The economy's rooted and so am I. To a certain extent.

But just like riding bicycles and sexy time, things get easier with practice. The more you venture out from your comfort zone, the more hardships you will find and the more rewarding the pay off. The vocation I have chosen for myself will not make me any significant amount of money for a while. I know that. I won't be driving Beemers or drinking G&Ts in penthouse apartments. (Because that's gay.) I'm still in my "internship" - writing for free until I gain a name for myself. I have contacts, I have drive, I have ambition and I have knowhow but not enough clout for subs to rush to their editors and exclaim, "I have Tom Valcanis on the phone! He wants to another piece about how much Facebook sucks!" Close friends and my partner will attest; I'm an egotistical son of a bitch and I hate being rejected. I even get childish about it at times. But as Korzybski, Watzlawick and Ellis have taught me, failure is feedback - try and try again, improving each time.

In my isolation since my return to Australia, I've actually found myself. Being in the US showed me what was important in my life and the lives of a significant other and now I know where I want to be. I have moved past my "grass is greener" mentality; I want to work, I want to improve and I want to be proactive. Getting my arse-kicked the day I took off from Hartsfield-Jackson Airport has left an indeliable indentation on my bum and it will always remind me that there are things bigger than myself that I want to be a part of and have to work towards to be included in again. I've done wrong but I am working to make things right. I believe in second chances and gradual transformation. As one of my favorite authors and philosophers, Robert Anton Wilson says; "I'm not a noun - I'm a verb. I'm always changing, never staying the same from one moment to the next."

Walking Away Scathed

I sit in front of a computer sometimes and before I know it, it's 2AM. It isn't where I'd like to be, but its where I sit.

In this position, its like you're being held under a constant fear of a great pain to be unleashed across your entire body; like an intense and chronic anticipation of ripping a sticking bandage from your skin. Its an overwhelming, nauseating feeling that accompanies you on the bus, on the walk toward where you live, in the job interview, talking to friends and even when you sleep.

You just wait and wait and hope that it's ripped off soon - then you'll know if your insides come spilling out or if the wound has healed. Or maybe it's even more complicated than that; a feeling of hopelessness yields to one of longing, one of renewal. I don't feel like my old self, I don't want to be that old self, I am in a process of change.

The confluence of distance and immediacy, the amalgam of thinking that another sits at the same computer, another coughs up her medicine in the middle of the night, this shattered heart cannot bear. I hold the shards of it in one of my bloodied hands, the other gripping a hammer of my own making. What is done cannot be undone, even though a repair might come too late, I will endeavor to make it all better. I hope I get that chance, love, even if it takes me all my life.

The 2nd Meeting of the AGS, Melbourne Chapter

It was chilly in Melbourne, Australia as the 2nd Meeting of the AGS, Melbourne Chapter commenced last Thursday. It was brought to my attention that AGS President Robert James took a liking to my coining of the name "Melbourne Chapter" for our group which expanded to include my friend Shai, a PhD student in neurological disease - specifically Creutzfeldt–Jakob Disease at the University of Melbourne.

In attendance was also Mr. Laurie Cox and Mr. Earl Irvings, the 2nd "certified" member of AGS, Melbourne Chapter. Although a multitude of subjects were covered in volume, I shall attempt a brief summary.

Laurie led the discussion, describing GS as an "epistemology" - Shai provided his own definition, calling it a "theory of 'our' knowledge." We also tried to pin down a working definition of "fact", using GS texts such as Irving J. Lee's Language Habits in Human Affairs and the insiders' look at the legal system by Chester Porter, QC in his Gentle Art of Persuasion.

Laurie professed with great vigor that "talking is not enough, GS must be practiced and applied" to gain any usefulness from the techniques and theories. That said, GS as a discipline attempts to stop "identification" by confusing "reality" and "perception" as it passes our non-verbal observation. We must be conscious that whenever we see/hear/sense, we are not sensing the entire event on each level; we, as humans are simply unable. GS, as Laurie says, can be seen as a "basis for any form of knowledge."

Laurie then presented a short essay to familarize Earl, Shai and I with his understandings of GS, starting with the Map-Territory relation as Korzybski termed it. Seeing as we cannot establish "absolute" facts, we must be reminded that "facts" always carry a degree of probability and uncertainty. Visually, he drew his own interpretation of the Structural Differential, saying that words "leave out a lot of what one has taken from an event" and that inferences may be overgeneralizations or false knowledge. He also says that we should silently remember to include the "etc." when making descriptions, to acknowledge that we do not catch "all" characteristics when conveying information to others. We then talked about the consciousness of abstraction, being aware that our words are not things, that our perceptions (or constructions) are not reality
and that thing(1) is not thing(2) and new experiences are colored by past, unconscious biases.

Laurie insisted that GS may solve problems in such a way that we may properly evaluate situations and events to prevent unsanity or "neurosis" - that defining things/events closely on a "descriptive level" - as close to the actual event as possible - could more likely yield a solution. For example, in a relationship, a boyfriend and girlfriend may fight due to having one map of the situation different to the other. GS encourages to describe these mental "maps" as accurately as possible to synthesize the two or to "agree to disagree." Robert also advocated the use of a GS diary to jot down instances where GS was being applied consciously and to make observations from a new, GS perspective.

We closed the meeting with a discussion for a possible National AGS Conference/Seminar in Melbourne early in 2010. We set a framework for topics, the opening one day of three to the general public, possible speakers and getting the Institute of General Semantics and other international affiliates to contribute their ideas. I also resolved with Earl to hold monthly meetings when time permits and to open an AGS forum for all members to use. A highly intriguing night for all!

Inward and Closing

I'm just sitting around. Sitting on the computer, filing number after number of job applications, waiting. I visit my grandmother and her thinning hair, waiting. She tells me not to worry. I ignore her. What am I waiting for? I send some messages. My SMS machine lays idle, so I wait for it to go off. I'm stuck in the house of my childhood, waiting. I have an inkling to what I'm waiting for but I don't like it one bit.

I miss my love so terribly it hurts to sleep just as much as it does to keep awake. Then my mind turns to my love, all alone, hurt by me in so many innumerable ways, each one another regret on my mind. I want to share another joke, another glance, another kiss, another chance; anything. But I'm here waiting. I'll tape together a million shards of a broken heart if it somehow brings that giggle back. And I will wait forever if I have to. I love her that much.

We Are Free In these Chains

I have concluded my reading of The Tyranny of Words by one of the most prolific exponents and popularizer of General Semantics, Mr. Stuart Chase, just in time for the 2nd meeting of the Victorian Chapter of the Australian General Semantics Society which will again be chaired by Mr. Laurie Cox and Mr. Robert James.

I have read extensively on GS for a while now; Science and Sanity by Korzybski, Language in Thought and Action by Hayakawa, as well as Levels of Knowing and Existence by Weinberg, Science and the Goals of Man by Rapoport and other GS influenced texts by Robert Anton Wilson, Karl Popper and Albert Ellis. I have to say, I have never read such a profound and forward-looking text as Chase's, as he synthesizes the major strands (1933) of semantic thought and guides the reader through a thorough, referent-based analysis of economics, politics, sociology and media reporting. Even his language as he dissects passages filled with higher-order abstraction "blabs" (as he calls them) does not seem dated; rather timeless and loaded with a message that we all should heed as we steer ourselves into waters that are filled with empty references, inaccurate inferences and in some cases, outright fabrications.

One of the more intriguing ideas he raises (although he makes completely brilliant points almost consistently throughout) is that semantic training should be made compulsory for those wishing to seek employ the following professions:

Writers of books and articles dealing with social questions Editorial writers—no exceptions
Reporters and journalists, to keep them from confusing facts with inferences
Government executives
Senators, Congressmen, state and local legislators
Diplomats and writers of state papers
Judges, lawyers, and juries. Every juryman should pass a test in semantics before admission to the box
Lecturers, radio speakers, chairmen of forums, dealing with social problems
Teachers and professors—no exceptions
Mothers and fathers who do not want their children to be
badly hurt when they must face the outside world alone
And all consumers of the verbal output from the above classes — just in case the goods are not as advertised. Semantics might be called a testing bureau for the consumer of language.

Imagine a world communicating as clearly possible! Also, I plan to introduce some points of discussion for tomorrow:

Social media and GS: Are one's Facebook status or tweets regarded as an accurate mapping of the territory?
How can GS principles be used to communicate clearly with others who are untrained in or unfamiliar with GS?

A general write up will follow the meeting.