Freelance PRO

Latest Posts:


From Reactions to Reactions to Events

I want to punch my boss in the face and tell her to fuck right off. Sweetly smiling each time, she attempts to cleave into my psyche with her blade of inadequacy, but I don't let her. But she *can* cut off the cash supply with that same knife, which would prove grossly inconvenient to say the least. Lesson 1: Money does not grow on trees, therefore you cannot tell your boss to fuck off. Become the boss instead.

I was watching Police: Behind the Force or something similarly oversimplistic and I almost cried when they destroyed all the drugs. Lesson 2: Drugs are awesome. Let no one tell you otherwise.

Talking to some people at random is liberating. But no one wants your attention, even though some crave it as if it was their life's blood. Lesson 3: If you're keeping score, then you're bound to win. (If) Life is a competition. (then) Love is imaginary. (which means) Sex is a contact sport. Know this and never go unhappy ever again. Believe whatever you like - its all the same to, well, you.

Hail to the creator of Steak and Blowjob day - a truly wonderful creation.


Retire Already

I did my interview with the intriguing Bob Schmidt of Flogging Molly. Nice bloke, a man of passion and conviction. I should be doing my write up soon.

Last night, my old mate Catchy (who is also embarking on a personal development project akin to my own) took me to the Comics Lounge. I have never seen such a thorough validation of the question: "If you put a hack in a comedy club, does that make him a comic?" I revile snobbery, but this performance was so intellectually dim, it actually laid my critical faculties into dormancy.

Russell Gilbert was the emcee for the night. Completely and utterly loathsome, his attempted quick-witted observations were merely statements of fact glossed over with puerile semi-shocking antics, making him seem all the more desperate for a laugh. He recycled moribund material, expecting us not to know any better, and when murmurs indicated imminent tanking, he resorted to shoving cigarettes up his nose. A truly crass and horrible man. He even hugged me. I can't wash the stain of his cigarette-tarred breath from my mind. The only standout was an Indonesian comic who was the only one that didn't devolve into dick jokes or cliche for a quick laugh. I said to Catch after the show, "If that girl took you up on that date (I was his backup, you see) she would never ever talk to you again."

According to the website, Russell Gilbert is:

"[I]s one of the country’s hardest-working comedians. The veteran star of television, radio and stand-up comedy is always switched on, upbeat and effervescent when it comes to performing – and is excited about taking a leap into the singing arena."

I can assure you, he is none of those things. I am very much looking forward to the Comedy Festival this year. You know, because I know whoever I'll end up seeing will actually be funny.


Flogging Who?

I'm interviewing Flogging Molly on Friday. Which is great. But what should I ask them?

Also picked up Steps to an Ecology of Mind by Gregory Bateson. He studied as a Korzybski influenced Anthropologist, psychologist, evolutionary biologist and epistemologist. Apparently there's nothing he couldn't do - well, attempt, at any rate.

Might be joining this cult-like AIESEC organization, apparently geared towards "unlocking potential" and "personal development." Some of their members' knowledge of influence techniques was impressive. If its free, how bad could it be?


Step Up And Leap

Just had to make a post on February 29. Just had to. What will I write? Something witty I said during the n00b-O-thon otherwise known as Melbourne Uni O-Week. I wish I was less sick so I can pull myself out of this downtime I'm sort of (not) experiencing...

"n00b Student: Why did you study Arts?

Me: Well, I could never submit myself to the scientific method. As a writer, I can make words and language my bitch. In maths, you're maths' bitch, and you have to sit there and take it no matter what."



I bought Struttin' by The Meters as on a re-issued vinyl today. I finally have dirty, funky and soulful gettin' it on music that isn't Lordi, for once.

Oh, and the new Ayreon blows everything else away, too! Gildenlow, Kursch, Englund and Renske over TWO progariffic could just crack my yet to be definitive Top 10. Really!