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There’s a line in one of the discs - the brilliant Magic 8-Ball by genre defiers Gazpacho - “how do you tell your creditors you’ve never been so poor? / eerily familiar as he’s knocking at your door” It’s been a dismal three months for me - the worst since I started on my own since 2014. I am buoyed by the support of my network, loved ones, friends - but there’s a weight of melancholy knowing I can’t really do much without the numbers in my bank account. Things are looking up - but salad days still suck. Here’s what I’ve been spinning:

Sabaton - Legends

I remember first hearing of and seeing Sabaton open for Nightwish - I was about to leave these shiny metal breastplated geeks for dust until singer Joakim Broden announced they were a “military history power metal band” and I was hooked. Naturally, they blew their fantastic Finn headliners away (with newly implanted Floor Jansen at the helm.) I hate to say it, but it seems like they reached the height of conquest with 2012’s (!!!) Carolus Rex, with diminishing returns ever since. Legends hits a qualitative nadir, songs plodding along without life or purpose. Templars tepid call and return is underpinned by Broden and co. mumuring along and propped up by mass choirs. That’s probably the best of the lot; at least the most memorable. The bulk of the album feels like recycled filler, like throwing in a mountain’s worth of packing peanuts to surround one or two precious tracks. I think, like so many of their Legends before them, need to re-group, re-arm, and re-deploy. They just seem spent at this point.

Helloween - GIANTS & Monsters

Helloween reforming as “Pumpkins United” is the best decision a band in metal has made since Judas Priest recorded British Steel at Ringo Starr’s mansion. It’s a genuine second renaissance for the band. As dumb as this sounds, Helloween sounds more Halloween than ever, almost forty years removed from the Keepers of the Seven Keys albums - opener Giants on the Run a multi-movement symphony featuring hard-edged blues riffs from Michael Weikath, neo-classicalisms supplied by Kai Hansen (also on vocals), wrapped up with gang choruses lifted from Gamma Ray’s time in the sun. I mean, wasn’t that the point of Gamma Ray to begin with?

Savior of the World is an uptempo Kiske vehicle, sounds like a lost cut between Keepers and Pink Bubbles Go Ape and just as fantastically silly. Happy happy Helloween manifests in A Little is a Little Too Much, their stupidest yet earwormiest song since From Where the Rain Grows, brimming with jaunty power-pop tempered by unexpected pathos in verses. If only Kiske joined Andi Deris from year dot - it’s absolutely delightful. So is hard rocker This is Tokyo, sprawling with expansive, triumphant choruses that could fill Budokan twice over. You do get absolute speed metal headbangers such as Universe (Gravity for Hearts) and oblique, swaying hands Andi Deris-led semi-ballads (Hand of God) as well as epic, multi-part Kai Hansen opuses (Majestic), and Kiske emulating Andrew Lloyd Webber numbers in the fists-clutched-to-chest weepie Into the Sun.

As an album, it effortlessly balances guitar flashiness, vocal leads, and narrative tone. I’m not sure if this bests their 2021 self-titled outing, but it equals it at the very least. Helloween is more Helloween than ever, as dumb as that sounds.

Gazpacho - Magic 8-Ball

There are few bands like Gazpacho - tender yet searing, icy yet comforting, dark yet playful. My first album was 2014’s Demon, which was my firm favourite (and I’ve picked up almost all of their output since.) Magic 8-Ball might be the one that pips it at the post. Starling gathers pace among beds of plucked violins and mournful, soul-rending laments, broken down like welled tears after tragedy (Told her to wait by our memories / Find a nice spot by the pool of the violent words) - by that point, you’re all fucked up and that’s only nine minutes in. We Are Strangers hook is its to-the-point chorus, cradled by flights of vocoder and syncopated slam-style poetry. Again, two tracks in and it’s latched on and won’t let go. Gingerbread Men is that moody blue prog rock epic, hewn from the textures of earth and sky - sounds that’ll make you perk up and wonder “just what is that?”. Highlight is the harlequinnish 8-Ball, recalling all the childlike wonder of circuses and funfairs yet grounded by the darker shades of the human condition, tumbling piano and beating thrusts of sceptres ameliorating any lingering bitterness. These guys really are something else. For a prog rock band they spare the rock and lean heavy on the art, but then again; who cares. Something this resplendent doesn’t come along every day.

An Abstract Illusion - The Sleeping City

Fear not the purple city vagina, for it fears your presence more. Sweden’s An Abstract Illusion feels more like an epic multi-movement symphony than a mere album at times. This genre-hopping, grandiose, ambitious metal needs a new genre unto itself (send your cheques to me, PR fluffers!) - Wilderun, Amiensus, Fires in the Distance - bands like these that flood the soundscape and our ears with kaleidoscopic palettes of melody and rhythm. Blackmurmur fills a yawning chasm between contemporary synthwave and extreme metal with alplomb, throbbing sawtooths startling through waves of Devin Townsend-style choruses and gauzed up riffs. It’s prog, if prog was progressive and not just recycling Dream Theater all day long. The long gaze into Silverfields is pure Roger Waters/Pink Floyd worship, even though it’s three minutes of lilted guitar and cycling synth arpeggios. Perfect nonetheless. No Dreams Beyond Empty Horizons feels like some of the most inspired soloing in decades, buttressed by unconquerable double kicks and headbanger chops. How they balanced wonder and brutality will leave you forever spellbound. If you’re into doomscrolling and complaining, then this album isn’t for you. You simply don’t have the attention span for it. Shame. An absolute 10/10.

Kalaveraztekah - Nikan Axkan

We got yer viking metal, yer Mongolian hun metal, yer Roman Empire metal (and Byzantine metal), even yer Imperal Germanic Reich metal, but may we introduce… Aztec metal? It not only exists but will kick your ever loving arse. If Cortes heard this landing in Mexico, he would have shit his britches and fucked back off to Spain. A flamenco intro is stabbed through with an HM-2 pedal stomp for opener Nikan Axkan, carried on a ziggurat sized riff and haunted by the souls of a million slain warriors. Much of their rollicking, mosh catching riffery is cut through with traditional Aztec instrumentation such as pan flutes, hand drums, and whistles, making for a truly otherwordly experience (Tonalli Nawalli). The chants of the ancients rise and heave through bulky riffs and what sounds like a digeridoo (Yowaltekuhtli) which will satisfy both Sepultura and Slayer fans alike. It seems like a straightforward thrash-death record on first blush - Tlazolteotl (La Devoradora De Inmundicia) is testament to its crossover appeal - but as we settle in, it feels like rushing through a portal to the realm of the Aztec dead. Superb.

In Mourning - The Immortal

Sweden’s In Mourning are a band out of time, arriving just as the final flame of melodeath flickered out of the global scene (2010.) One of the now stalwart practitioners of the craft, The Immortal takes more cues from Rapture or Insomnium than the OGs of the genre (In Flames, At The Gates, Dark Tranquillity etc.) Silver Crescent is driven by liquid solos and lamenting choruses, enforcing a primacy of lead-infused riffs washed in gothic black. Barnstormers are present (Staghorn) as are progressive-tinged tracks (Song of the Cranes) replete with towering melodies and quieter acoustic reflections. We also get songs that just seem to build and build to dizzying heights (As Long as the Twilight Stays). They can even do clean-sung Katatonia style introversion (North Star), perhaps better than the originator at this point. Their songwriting powers combine in closerThe Hounding, a knotty yet satisfying end to yet another stellar album from the boys. None of this shouldn’t be a surprise to me having followed them since their beginning, but they just do melodeath a solid with every release. As a melodeath fanatic, I can’t recommend them enough.