I've embarked on the road to success only to be confronted by obstacles in my path. I've lost all sense of direction, I can't seem to figure out where up goes or if down is where it is supposed to be. I've wiped my mind of fugues of discontent with books and other such written sense, and its transformed me into a saner person. Even though I began to hallucinate the other day - it was unbelievable. I believed that a person that is dead to me now was suddenly living; as if they had never left.
I guess it's a matter of believing myself over my eyes, at any rate. I think there are some ghosts left over in my brain that I need to exorcise. But writing that down won't help me, and doing all the terrible things that I vowed to do can't alleviate the constant imaginary crises I'm experiencing either. When I was sucking down another cigarette the other day with accompanying piece of shit cup of coffee, I thought to myself; "I can't realistically drift forever.
I'll die eventually."