In the most unlikeliest pairing since Phil Collins and Bone Thugs N’ Harmony (or, perhaps, Orson Welles and Manowar?), Velvet Underground stalwart Lou Reed teams up with the biggest riff factory known to mankind, Metallica. Metalheads and old rockers alike waited with baited breath for the first samples to appear online and both were roundly disgusted at what they heard (it takes a lot to disgust a metalhead, especially these days). Now that the monstrosity is here, requiring two discs to soundly contain all of Reed’s bewildering homespun ramblings and Metallica’s laborious, repetitive riffs — both of which announce themselves from the outset in opener 'Brandenburg Gate' — one quickly discovers stapling together rock legends does not a great record guarantee.